One of the most challenging components involved in meeting a woman is asking her out on a date. Even men who have no trouble meeting and attracting women sometimes fumble at this step. It’s the point where you push your chips into the middle of the table and let her know you’re interested.

Then there’s that awkward, nervous excitement as you anticipate what her response will be.  The irony, however, is that she’s much more likely to say ‘Yes’ if you ask her in a confident manner.

Many men who struggle with women mistakenly think they can ‘fake’ their way through the entire process. This approach will doom you to failure sooner or later. If you’re lacking in self-esteem, it might be a good idea to step back and take some time to work on yourself.  A program like the Girlfriend Activation System can be a big help in this regard.  You can use it to become the man you really want to be and the type of guy women find irresistibly attractive.

Remember, just trying to mimic behaviors of more evolved men like poise and self-assurance doesn’t work. Putting in the work to develop these qualities will not only help you with women but also in every other phase of your life.


Asking women out on a date is one of the many initially awkward tasks that gets easier the more you do it. Over time, your timing will improve, and your fear of rejection will diminish. You’ll understand that it’s not a life-changing question and will stop making such a big deal over it.

Most importantly, you’ll develop your skill to measure a woman’s interest in order to evaluate your chances before you make your move.  When you first learn to drive a car, there are so many new behaviors to assimilate that it’s almost overwhelming. Within a year, however, it’s second nature. Asking women on a date is similar and the more you do it, the more instinctive it’ll become.

Another thing that you’ll get better at over time is understanding the balance between being ‘too casual and nonchalant’ and ‘trying too hard’. You want to pull yourself together, pay attention to your dress, and otherwise groom yourself. At the same time, you don’t want to come off as ‘needy’, and there’s no surer sign of that than going ‘all in’ with trappings like flowers, candy, and generally excessive preparation.


Here’s something that many men just can’t wrap their head around: women really want to be asked out on a date.  That’s right, they WANT you to approach and ask them out.

I’m not talking about asking a woman to ‘hang out’ alone or with friends or giving her an invitation to ‘hook up.’   Women get mealy-mouthed requests to ‘go out for a drink sometime if you want’ constantly. They want to be asked out on a date at a specific place and time, in some cases to the point of anger and agitation. Women want you to think of them as special. Asking them out on an actual date gives them this validation while asking them to ‘hang out’ suggests ambivalence.

Another good reason to ask women out on a date is that it demonstrates confidence and self-assurance. These are very attractive qualities to women, and the very act of making this move enhances your appeal. It suggests you know what you want, and you’re not afraid to take a chance to get it.

On the other hand, vague invitations to ‘hang out’ or ‘go do something sometime’ make it clear that you’re too afraid of a small rejection to poke your head out of your comfort zone. You’re so fearful of a minor discomfort that you won’t take a risk that offers significant ‘upside potential’. It makes you look fearful, insecure, and weak-willed–three things that are major turn offs for any woman.

So remember, she WANTS you to ask her out.  She’s not some sort of horrible monster waiting for an opportunity to reject you or humiliate you.  The rejection you’re envisioning in your head is far worse than anything that will actually happen if you ask her out.


Life is about risk. Life is not about ‘being safe’ or maintaining the ‘status quo’.

If you don’t take a chance, you’ll never go anywhere or achieve anything. There’s no way to avoid this and, more importantly, no reason to avoid it. Women don’t like the kind of man that’s afraid to live because of the fear of what might happen.  And if that’s who you are, it’s time to man up and find a new comfort zone.


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