Even Babies Are Getting Beards Now – What next? Baby man-buns?
The beard conspiracy continues!
You parents out there probably thought: Beards are so funky, so Brooklyn, but we are merely the minders of a small infant, so we have no need to worry about that. Well, you’d be wrong. It turns out that your drooling little ward is in desperate need of some whiskers! They’re cherubic little cheeks and pouty little lips are bound to be wind-chapped and parched from winter’s cruel, dry conditions, yet they haven’t hit puberty and can’t grow their own mini Van Dyke as a barrier.
But there’s hope.
A children’s accessory peddler on the digital hand-crafted marketplace Etsy (OF COURSE) known as The Wee One Boutique is offering knitted beanies with face-protective “beards” attached, to help ensure your child’s maximal warmth and coziness, plus the added bonus of looking like an itty-bitty lumberjack. They are made from an acrylic-wool blend and are reasonably priced at just about $20, and would make the perfect little stocking stuffer for a small tyke who has some serious facial hair envy. Hurry, though, these are selling quickly because even hipsters have kids these days and you don’t want to be the only family at the local co-op with a clean-shaven child! How gauche.